Last week I was involved in an interesting conversation with a colleague. We started discussing long term relationships and how after so many years they can become stagnate. This colleague made an interesting comment. He stated, “I want other people to tell my husband that he is hot”. This isn’t a request I had heard from a committed spouse before. He went on to explain, “ I may be one of the few spouses out there that want people to tell my husband that he is attractive. It can be from anyone at any age (18 and over) feel free to offer compliments. I am secure enough with myself and our relationship, that I can want this for him.
”My colleague went on to explain. “I think that after being in a relationship for many years with the same person telling you how great you are, starts to lose it’s novelty. It’s similar to when your parents told you how special you were and you thought “I am your kid, you have to say that”. But when someone else says it, you tend to believe that person since it confirms everything you have been told by your family.
I believe that being comfortable with others’ complementing your partner can be the sign of a strong loving relationship. It takes a very secure partner to encourage this. I love my spouse and I want him to feel good about himself and know that it’s not just me that thinks he is attractive, witty and sweet. I have enough trust in him and our bond that he can take a complement and leave it at that. I would hope that it would make his day a little better.”After hearing this I began to agree with what my colleague was saying. It does feel good when someone else can appreciate me, and I would want that feeling for my partner as well. I wonder, are there other partners that feel the same way?